having it all?

The sign coming onto campus reads, "You Can Have It All".  I hate that sign because sadly, you can't have it all. I don't care what Oprah says. Some things are not meant to be had.

I am thinking of the virgin nutcase that went on the killing spree.  By world's standards he had it all.  From a secular worldly view, he had access to everything.  But he didn't or couldn't have it all and committed to killing those he could not have.

What did he not have?  The nerdiness of the room mates?  He couldn't get the girl? There was something missing from his "have it all" basket.

The students in my philosophy classes learn that one cannot have it all.  You can't have happiness without experiencing pain.  You can not experience love if you do not understand hate.

You can't have it all if it is all that you want.  You will become inflamed with resentment and anger. Wrap into mental illness and you have a recipe for disaster.

"He who is dissatisfied with himself is continually ready for revenge and we others will be his victims, if only in having always to endure his ugly sight." ― Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science

Well, I have some theological thoughts as well but I will save those for a future rant.  However I came across a quote from someone whom I read while she kept a journal of her travels through cancer.

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” ― Gilda Radner

uhmph, I feel a country song coming on

a throwback thursday post via facebook Nov 7, 10

A student asked me the other night, "Where did you get that hat?" The particular hat I was not sure. Now that I think about it, from Walmart as it was on sale and I liked how it looked with a particular coat I was wearing. 

But looking at my collection here, the cord came from Germany, the other from Nice, Over there? England and this particular fedora is one from daughter and son-in-law. Over here I have one of Donegal wool that I bought in Victoria on one of our anniversary trips. The Guinness ballcap was an anniversary gift from the kids when we decided to go to NM for a get away. 

I have a hat as a reminder of some fantastic crabcakes in Havre de Grace.  And of course the collection of caps from the colleges and universities I have attended or taught at.

To remember the books, songs, and visits to Margaritaville, I have a couple, ok, more than a couple to include the beret.

Berets are interesting toppers.  So many people just do not know how to wear one correctly.  So besides the Margaritaville beret, I have one that represents the US in the 2002 winter Olympics and another that represents the artist within me.

I have a number of fedoras.  I have my grandpa one - keeps my head warm and my German one that sports all the pins from the various countries and cities we visited.I do have one from Austria that I really purchased in Cheyenne WY at the Sierra Trading Post.

Cowboy hats - ready for any bull ride or bull story.

I brought a wide brim from the cabin but for some reason it feels so right there but not so here.  Had to take it back.

I have a few funny ones and ones that have funny stories - the one from Blackwater, yeah, I bought that one to bug a supervisor. 

I still have some from various units in the AF - 400MMS(T), 44th missile wing, and the various schools attended. 

A man can never have too many, pipes, coffee cups, cigars, and hats.

Only waiting for the time

I wasn't going to post anything about it. No one I know has and it is a personal thing that men deal with or maybe not. Not something you want to talk about. When you find that one person you want to get info but not get too personal.

The doctor's office left numerous phone messages that sounded urgent. We were in Florida and I was presenting at a conference so I had a lot on my mind. So was it something from my all expense paid trip to the emergency room? Was my heart ready to blow a valve?

With the electronic records online I was able to determine that my PSA came back elevated. Ok, what does that mean? Hit the internet, then stop. Then again. Finally saw a urologist who wanted to wait a month and another PSA. The number dropped but not enough so he said, "biopsy" but not much more. Really no discussion about it except that the chances are slim that anything significant would show up unless he did 300 of these teasers. (Steelers and Cowboys have a better chance of battling it out for the Super Bowl)

Now when I say the doc didn't tell me a whole lot about this 10 min procedure was that who I have talked to explained that the recipient of this event may be out of work for a bit and have complications lasting for weeks. Right, just what I need.

The first scheduled tool time was last week but conflicted with one scheduled event and the next avail would be Thursday of this week.

Yesterday I went to my primary physician to get some lab work and a prescription. Looking through the records he noticed that no biopsy was done and no record of seeing the urologist. I could see the neck muscles tense as I explained the chronology of events and that I decided I wanted a referral to JH (Johns Hopkins) since what the other guy said where he was they didn't have the big toys like the research hospitals. 

Veins bursting the GP says to me that it was January when the numbers came back and I should have had the biopsy in February. Well, he would need to take that up with the guy he referred me to. "Don't you realize you have prostrate cancer."

Ok... Well... Not what the urologist said, however... So back to reading the research and scheduling an appointment with the folks at JH. I don't need the military sending out the MPs or TSA to snatch a sample or banish me to the VA clinic.

So much to think about. What if... I know a doctor in Kansas that thinks castration is one of the primary options. But the twins and I have a special bond. The Canadians have a special wand that has proven to be successful. But the majority have... Provided something comes back positive.

Any stories you care to share? Just man to man, you can message me.
Once upon a time long long ago when knights were bold and dragons were creating havoc...

You might have read this.  Really quite interesting that even today the schools are worried about how girls dress for the prom.

Girl is kicked out of prom for wearing a dress that "evoked impure thoughts"
http://kdvr.com/2014/05/14/girl-kicked-out-of-prom-for-wearing-dress-that-evoked-impure-thoughts/
 The article outlines the event as would a news agency would.  But does it give the complete story?
But what you need to read this link to a blog that was written by the sister.  Well the portal you should enter is through Mad World News @  http://madworldnews.com/dads-lust-minor-gets-thrown-prom/   titled, "Dads lust after minor,..." The title catches one's eyes for sure.  But to read the article and see described how society has created young girls to be objects of lust.  

I am reminded of when Britney Spears came out with the school girl look in the song, "Baby one more time". Here is a girl that if you heard on the radio sounded innocent enough.  However with MTV broadcasting the video you have every guy that ever wanted to date a Catholic school girl go nuts with lust.  I heard plenty of over 25 talk about the video.

The writer of the blog spells out the issues society. (http://www.hannahettinger.com/ )  Now we have her side of the story.

Sexism is an issue.  The way Hollywood dresses and undresses those "teens" on the big and small screens creates an environment of lust.  As they say, sex sells.   And the reason she was booted was because there were concerned dads, is that right? Dads?

My fatherly instincts come into play.  I look at the issue that a young man might.  But there I am really questioning the issue that the "Dads" were bothered by the situation.  Where they bothered for the young men there or where they bothered for themselves?  I have to agree with the Mad World writer's last paragraph, if you are being driven to lustful thoughts, you need to check yourself.  I am not condoning much of the dress I see on the college campus but I do have to check my thoughts.

The rest of the story

Oh yes, the rest of the story. When I was in the Philippines and taking in Bataan the gang stayed in a bungalow near the water. The fishermen were from the village we were staying and with some bargaining we had the fishermen handled. After we returned from the island we were invited to the home of the parenz of one of the guys. Now this was a big family and the guy I rode with had a wife and young children.
The house was put together with what looked like what we would call scrap but well manufactured. The dirt floor had a rug on it and the kids played. I had not seen a dirt floor since a trip to the Navajo reservation in Arizona. We had a good time while in this home. We talked, joked, laughed and played with the kids. In a few short weeks I would be heading back to Thailand with a different mindset.
A woman from the church spoke about a recent trip to India and some of what she experienced. Recently a group from our daughter's church went to Haiti. And what I say is "boys and girls, we aren't in Denton, Texas anymore." Ok, I use Denton to protect the innocent.
We leave the comfort of our surroundings and find ourselves in environments that we are not accustom. Dirt floors, toilets that are just holes in the dirt, kids running around butt nekid, trash and refuse piled up with a stench so bad a good spread of Vicks under the nose works wonders.
Nope, no Kentucky fried chicken for carry out. Not sure what is on that stick but it is cooked through. Kimchi and balut? Ok, depends, oh, no to balut. Alright, depends on the part of the world what comfort foods are available.
But not every place is like "home". When I was in Central America we would leave our hootches to stay in tents. But while we would be in the area we would visit a missionary family that lived in a two story home. It would give the single guys a sense of home and see how life was others who made Honduras home.

We see on the news here with US citizens protesting the "street" or big businesses. It is those folks I want to see take a trip to a 3rd world country and use their energies working with locals and try to make a difference. Ever notice who does go? Churches and military it seems. Ok, the peace corps works with many. But I don't see too many other "groups" head out and work with the less fortunate. We talk big but when push come to shove.

The song "Oceans"

The song "Oceans"
I was in the Philippines and visiting the island of Corregidor , a substantial battle ground during WWII. A group of us decided we needed a 3 day weekend with fishing and drinking. After a night of going out with the local fishermen in their tiny bonka boats dropping "miles" of net in the middle of Manila Bay, drinking, and getting up early to trade cigarettes and whiskey for fish (we didn't have any luck the night before), we headed to the island.
Not admitting that I was 3 sheets to the wind when we reached the rocky landing I, in my inebriated state of intelligence, saw a rock that I was sure I could step on and then step over. Except the rock was 6' under water, maybe a bit more. With little help of my friends I was able to make it to a more stable and dry ground.

The words from "Oceans" lay out at the beginning "You call me out upon the waters, The great unknown where feet may fail, And there I find You in the mystery, In oceans deep, My faith will stand"
Not knowing where my feet will fall can be frightening, even with senior citizen shoes. Even thinking you are placing your steps on a solid place could be a mistake.

I remember when I was under water looking up seeing my hat floating above me with my arms outstretched with my "water" bottle in one hand and camera in another thinking this was not a good place to be. It looked like down was the only option.

We hear that God gives us no more than we can handle. For the record that is not theologically correct nor biblical.
What I know is if you do step out and find that the stone is far below, He will reach down and bring you up with eyes above the waves.
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine...

Please Use Air Dryer - ok, how about NOT

Please Use Air Dryer - ok, how about NOT
Having worked with the best custodial staff I learned a lot about how clean or how unclean a floor can be.
I also know that when you develop the ROI and cost per square inch of toilet paper and paper towels you learn a lot about the cost of an employee using the restroom. I also know how you can add that cost into the overall compensation of the employee worth.
So why then do I dislike air dryers? I mean the dryers can save trees and landfill space. I was told that air dryers are cleaner.  That is when the flag goes up, why up...
I was sitting in the men's room pondering when another male enters, takes care of business, washing his hands and goes to the air dryer. Whilst sitting I feel all this breeze coming up under the stall and off the floor, blowing into my zone. There were bits of paper on the floor that ended up right in my face.
Alrighty, I do know from the conferences and seminars I had attended that when the toilet is flushed, fecal spray can travel a distance of 6 ft or more. This would mean that somewhere on the floor would be spray times the number of flushes. That residue then could be reintroduced to the art of flight. And into my face...

I find myself observing restrooms and hand dryers. And on occasion have dropped some, oh, let's say some crumbs and watch where these bits take flight.  That is an airfield trick to test for foreign object damage (fod).
So think about it. On this restroom floor is not only spray from toilet flushes, and have you have ever seen the floor around a urinal? Then you just came in from outside where birds and dogs might have left behind markings.
Ok, have someone on one side of a dung pile with one dead raccoon in the mix using a leaf blower and you on the opposite side. Yeah, that is what I am trying to explain.
Now try to leave the restroom after you realize the business only uses the leaf blower and you have to pull the door open by the handle. Do you know least than 40% of women will likely use the tornado creator if they even wash their hands?

And Flippy was his name-0

And Flippy was his name-0
The major was the J4 and he wore his military issue frames with flip up sun shades. So when he was inside the shades were flipped up.  And with that was how he ended up with the nick-name "Flippy".  But of course not to his face.
One day I am discussing some issues with the chief of staff and the commander that were safety oriented but required some specific logistic concerns. I stated that it might be important to bring in Flippy for some of the planning. I quickly apologized and restated the major's name. The colonel looked at me with a stern look and we moved on.
Later that week in the staff meeting the commander was going over some specifics of the upcoming "TopCap" visit and as he was going around the room with questions or directions came to the major with his sun visor flipped and addressed him, "Ok Flippy, we need to ...." The Maj looked confused and half the room was restraining a laugh.  From then on the commander referred to the J4 as Flippy.

I put on my flip-ups and laugh. However, don't call me "Flippy".

So Healthcare might not be what some hoped???

Here is a brief of about 134 pages that outline various myths and truths about healthcare.
http://www.coalitionoftheobvious.com/singlepayer.pdf

pocket knives

I was thinking about some pocket knives and how I need to establish the necessary distribution at a predetermined time preceding my demise. Then with that I was thinking of other issues related.  Right after 9/11 the immediate response of the government was to classify anyone flying "guilty" until proven otherwise.  Working in the aviation world I heard some sad stories.
An older man was sitting in the corner of the airport weeping because as he told the airline worker, he as going to his family's home carrying a pocket knife he was going to give his grandson the was given to him by his grandfather.  But he was guilty of being a potential terrorist with an old pocketknife in his pocket.
Not unlike granny goodcookie with the knitting needles she had since she was a child who knitted for her daughter and granddaughters. She was guilty.
This last week was the birthdate of Bob Foss, an American hero, flying ace, and good guy.  Well, until he was going through security on his way to a Medal of Honor banquet.  The low information security agent told Bob he would need to discard his Medal of Honor in the trash along with his Medal of Honor pocketknife.  Why, because he was an old white guilty looking as hell terrorist. A national guardsman stepped up while the security and police were considering sending this American flying ace a trip to jail because he would not relinquish his weapons. "Do you guys know who this man is? He is Bob Foss." And he explained how this guy was no terrorist. Once that came to light several veterans stepped up. Finally he could take his so called Medal of Honor but only because the pilot would feel honored to carry this in the cockpit.  But the knife? If he could kill gooks then he probably kill again.

Also this last week we have heard from a crusty old white guy saying that veterans are guilty as granny with her knitting needles if they supported Bundy or question global warming.

By the time I am ready to pass on my knives those will be outlawed or require registration and finger print recognition. Geesh

A very well put Ted Talk

http://www.ted.com/talks/temple_grandin_the_world_needs_all_kinds_of_minds.html

A facebook post from a while back 1/4/2014

Why is Duck Dynasty so popular? People do get up in arms about these "rednecks" in where?.??. The south? Ewwww. They eat grits, catfish, and wild pig, and use guns.

Here is my take on this. Based on an article I read about how people from outside the US the view is that NYC, LA, and Chicago is what the US is. I heard this when I was in Thailand, Philippines, and Europe. Of course southern Colorado is no different than Southern California in their minds because of what they see on TV and movies. "Do you ever see the stars hanging out? Ever meet them?" You mean like Jack Nicholson? Yep, in fact had coffee with him at the local drug store in Fountain before moving here. Clint and I race cars and shoot guns on weekends.

Some people are tired of the "reality" shows like OC, Jersey, Dallas, and other "real" programs. Geesh, I just saw the Dance Moms trailer and really, that is real? Some of these shows exploit the ideas people have of the big cities. Come to think of it if you watch the NBC nightly news, all of it comes from NYC. The focus is on the big cities. Don't remember Brian or Katie down around LaVeta broadcasting from the Cuchara Coffee shop.

Every reality show is scripted, just like professional wrestling. Yes boys and girls, the WWF is scripted. Life is a theater and there are scripts and improv mixed together.

So the Duck crew, there are some scripted events that would otherwise make real life boring and then add the real home grown moral ideas, like Mayberry, that are addressed. Not a group of floozies showing off cleavage and skivvies. Not some screaming dance instructor. Nope, not like that. Just hometown folk that were smart with ideas and money.

The fam so many want to point out in past pictures of their clean shaven faces are humans that really achieved their goals before TV and not while trying on a TV show. What they are doing now is putting on a show with beards and camo (for the show) that has some moral values, promoting ideals that are missed in other programs with large breasted wives of some suburb.

I am reminded of my days in the Florida panhandle and hanging out with families that talked duck hunting and shrimping, sitting on a porch drinking iced tea. Or the time I was in New Hampshire and watching garden tractor pulls and eating a turkey leg. Nope, not the stench of NYC or LA, and yes been there too, but easy living life.

Some people have their knickers in a wad because of the success. "I can't believe those conservative rednecks would support and call out the network and create such a stir." Well guess what? Anger some bible believing, gun toting, family embracing redneck and all 'hell' will break loose. Just happens that way. Notice no one got a teet in a twist when Jersey Shores washed away. (The show, not the beach)

So here it is, you don't like Duck Dynasty, change the channel. Don't like the products, don't buy it. If you don't like what Phil or Si says, hey, there is always MSNBC.

Yeah, I have watched DD and yes, there are moments that are "unreal" or maybe it is really a commentary on what really happens in a large family, but scripted so nothing is missed.

Remember the Walton's?
Good night John Boy.

everyone has a story to tell

From a Facebook post of mine 4/25/11 

Everyone has a story to tell.  You have a story and I have a story. Some of us want to tell our story and others desire not to.  But we all could tell a story.

I was looking at some blogs and so many of them tell a story.  After reading about the fallacy of Three Cups of Tea, one has to wonder why write a story that is not true?  Well, I think we have desires to tell stories that make us feel good as well.

But, we all have a story to tell.  As a speech instructor I found that many students who were scared to get up in front of people still had something they wanted to say but could not.  Not until they learned how to organize their thoughts.  

In Toastmasters there is a program called story telling.  I always enjoyed hearing the stories that could be told.

The gumbas and I make up stories all the time.  I even wrote a short story about an adventure we went on seeking some "treasure."  It was a story. And we wanted to tell it.

After the bride and I were married and our first was born, we would go to P'Cola and visit Grandpa Engelman.  Well, we would sneak off for some scuppernong wine and he would tell me some stories.  He would state that he never told anyone these stories but he felt he could tell me.  Some crazy stories about jumping ships and traveling the world over never with a passport. 

Once in a while at the veterans home one of the old warriors would tell a story about a battle or event in his life.  In the hospital there is always someone wanting to talk, wanting to share something that would otherwise be lost.

Yes, we have stories and we want to tell them.  

What is your story?  

Need a recipe for scuppernong wine?  http://www.grapestomper.com/recscprnog.html

where have all the adjuncts gone

Philosophy instructor for hire
I was notified this weekend that the Colorado colleges system will no longer allow out of state instructors teach for Colorado funded schools. So no more teaching online.
I contribute this to a growing effort of many state schools that tried to control the for-profit institutions. But as I predicted in my "Stossel" moment, if the schools force the Feds to regulate for-profit it will inevitably come back and force the hand of the state schools.  I also think the ACA (healthcare act) has something to do with this as well. But...
For one, it has created a requirement that all schools must show by demographics what jobs and estimated salary the graduate can look forward to. The state schools thought the ruling would only affect for-profit. This has created a real problem for programs that don't mean squat diddly in the real world. Oopsie...
Second, the state funded academe expected the for-profit would suffer because "they" hoped by controlling who the faculty were teaching for the profiting schools that would eliminate the competition. However, comma, this has now forced many state schools across the nation to terminate out-of-state instructors and forcing many state schools to cancel programs and courses, thus reducing FTE, which means less funds coming in, Oopsie!
What many administrators wanted for the for-profit to control them has become the ruling factor for all that receive federal funding.
That is how "stuff" happens. And I predicted this over 3 years ago, uhm...

I have a full time job and I still have one adjunct position at another school.  But it kind of blows a hole in the idea of coming up on retirement and still being able to teach whilst hanging at the beach.

Your class

Do you think your class is the best course ever? Do you think you are the best instructor in academia and offer the best?
I don't believe it.
Do you want to see an increase student enrollment? Do you want to influence students to think school XYZCC?
I don't believe it.
Ok, I will believe it only if you are willing to MOOC your course for one semester.
Does not have to be a full class, just one section to give a student a taste of what going to college is like.
MOOCs are tools to do research, carry a project out to the community and the world, build a relationship with the community, and so much more.
But you can wuss out. "It's not my job to sell the school." "I don't want to share." That's ok. I understand, it isn't about the love of teaching.

If I knew half of what I know now then

Been thinking about the Shaq post and the “come to Jesus” his banker had with him regarding his earnings.  Then there is another post that states that we have gone from teaching the languages to teaching remedial math.  There is a problem and not within the scope of what Houston can do.

I reflect again on that basketball player that was in that home ec class who thought he was some hot stuff, a senior that did not even have a letter of intent and his braless, pantyless groupie sitting next to him.  “I am going to be a pro.” Not without a letter of intent.  And regardless you need to have a plan.  Not even a letter of intent from a junior or community college.  Anyway…

Looking back on my life I was thinking how I might like to go to George Fox College or Letourneau University.  Not really sure why but I guess when I went to camp my peers were talking about their future plans so I just assumed.  The problem was there was no one to have that “sit down and come to Jesus” meeting with me.  If I really wanted to go to college then I needed to really address my academics, establish some goals, and prepare my mind. Sports gets you scholarships and I was told of some sports management degrees but I did not know what it would take to get there.  No one sat down for that face-2-face, eye-2-eye talk.  “Your grades suck so here is what you will need to do.”  I really didn’t even know about SAT or ACT.  My teachers and counselors basically informed me that if I graduated…

In a way there was an assumption as well that one would just follow the parents’ footsteps.  Plumbing was not really that bad.  Thinking back and talking to guys that had their businesses that were my age, they were making some pretty good change.   Of course there were other avenues if college was not in the immediate, such as military service.  But only because I could not see a prospering future at Johnny’s Car Wash. 

Over the years I had people cross my path that gave me insight to what I needed to do.  Not unlike the banker telling Shaq he would be like others in his game that were broke, Shaq needed to think his future through.  From a credit union rep that told me in no uncertain terms that if I could not afford a wedding set without a loan I had no business getting married to a jeweler that explained how he would help us create a good plan for the future, from the NCO that first tried to talk me into taking college courses for my future to the NCO that showed me where I had college credit for the tech schools and training I completed.  From that retired admiral I had for math who explained philosophy with Pascal’s triangle to the general that sat across from me on an aircraft and told me we all put our pants on the same, the difference was what we did after we pulled them up.

With my bride I made some choices (if you believe that we have the will to choose) that altered the predictable.  Job choices to educational selections based on what was past the 20 year mark in the military.  Those were factors, several good and some questionable but all for a reason, many yet to unfold. Think about it, from being told at a young age “if you graduate” to teaching graduate students, from Johnny’s $1.60 an hour to $110 an hour, from being a dork to sitting around a dinner table talking to VPs from TWA, United, and other international airlines about the safety issues in their organizations. 

Now it took work, it took recognizing I was not going to get the grades on my looks or family connections.  It was not going to be solely on my ability to dunk a basket. 

How do we pass this information on to the students, kids that are putzing around?  How do we have that “come to Jesus” with those that if they do not change their ways will end up in some deep doodoo?  Partly from within but it is also cultural driven.  How do we encourage those that need encouragement? How do we ensure people do not become enslaved in their perceived inabilities?

How have we gotten this far

in society where kids do not have goals or real desires?   But it is like what I sometimes say, “If I knew half of what I know now then…”  Maybe our job is to be that knowledge.